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5 Things to Try Before Bashing Your Spouse Online

5 Things to Try Before Bashing Your Spouse Online

*disclaimer: I’m not a relationship guru and you definitely shouldn’t take your relationship advice from me.*

Like most moms in this day and age, I belong to a few (read: few too many) mommy Facebook groups. Some are super supportive and are aligned with my natural/granola tendencies. Others are social experiments where high school drama plays out online. It can be rather entertaining, to say the least. But you know what really grinds my gears? All the complaining about spouses and partners.

Here’s my list of 5 things you can try before taking to your local mommy Facebook group chat and releasing the kraken.

1. Sit down and talk to your partner. Not always feasible though and I get that. If this isn’t possible…

2. Call your partner. Too weird?

3. Text your partner. Even if it’s from the other room.

4. Write a letter to your partner. Bonus points if you have a carrier pigeon deliver it to them!

5. Spell it out using leftover Alphaghetties.

If I’m going to vent it’s going to be to him. Because talking about him behind his back isn’t going to solve anything. Sitting down one on one and talking about what’s going on is the best way to solve things. Not opening up and spewing hatred about them to a Facebook group full of local women you will most likely purchase a used jolly jumper from or share advice with on washing cloth diapers in the future.

I’m all for women supporting women, really I am. But I will not support bashing of partners and spouses. It’s not fair and frankly no one enjoys hearing about someone’s partner who “hasn’t changed a single diaper” or “plays WoW too much”.

What do you think? Am I off base? Let me know what you think in the comments.

Stephanie @ Mommyzoid

PS: I’ll be sharing this post on these blogs!






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  • You’re definitely not off-base, Stephanie. I agree with you completely. It always makes me uncomfortable to see women slander their husbands on social media. It’s not the time or the place. If you have issues with your spouse, talk to them, talk to a counselor or a trusted friend, who will encourage you to talk to your spouse or a counselor. My best girlfriend and I have an unspoken understanding that we can vent to each other, but the other person does nothing but listen, pray and point the other back to their husband. No husband bashing, and, especially, never about the other’s husband. Thanks for this great post. Sharing it.:) I’m so glad I found you on A Mama’s Story.

    • I’m glad I’m not alone, Kelsey! That’s awesome that you and your pal have an unspoken understanding. Thanks so much for swinging over from the link up <3

      Stephanie

  • Totally agree! I have done my fair share of husband bashing to my friends which is just as bad as online…and what I found over time is it just hardened my heart towards him and didn’t really solve anything. I know I would be heartbroken if he voiced all the things I do that really chap his ass so why would I do it to him?

    • I love how you see it from his point of view, Shelly! It’s so important to treat others the way you’d want to be treated! Thanks so much for taking the time to come over and read my post <3

      Stephanie

  • Monica Geglio

    I agree very much! My biggest online complaints towards my husband relate to him eating meat and asking other vegetarians how they cope with a “meat eating” husband. lol. But, yes. I am not one to complain and release my {essentially trivial} frustrations towards my husband all over the internet! Some people rant all day long about how their husbands are “shitty”, etc… Makes me wonder how they can function living together if they feel so negatively about one another…

    • hahaha, those darn meat eating husbands! I agree, I don’t think I could function in the relationship if I had that much hate toward my “partner”. It makes me so sad to read some of the things people say about their spouse online. Thanks so much for stopping by, Monica!

      Stephanie

  • I agree! I find it unnerving when people bash their spouses. It’s just not fair to their spouse. He needs the opportunity to speak up for himself. Plus, like you said, it’s not productive to talk behind his back.

    I would be crushed if my hubby said something negative about me online – yet I see women doing this to their husbands. All. The. Time.

    Great post.

    Thanks for sharing.
    xoxo

    • I would be soooo crushed, as well! I couldn’t imagine if he had this place online where he ranted and raved about me to other local fathers. How weird would that be?

      Thanks so much for stoping by <3

      Stephanie

  • Girl, I agree with you! I think you should never bash your spouse online (or anyone for that matter.) How is that going to help nurture and grow your relationship? If I was bashed online that would just push me away and umm… hurt my feelings (obviously right?). When you look for the good in your spouse and praise them for the things they do well – it inspires them and encourages them to continue being the best they can be. Relationships thrive off encouragement and die off negativity (both ways). Let’s be people who encourage and uplift and don’t tear each other down (whoever that may be including our spouse!)

    • You’re so right, Elizabeth! So wise!! It is so important to praise them and encourage. To say something online without them even knowing just seems so evil!

      Thanks so much for stopping by <3

      Stephanie

  • I am right there with you, friend. It is not an honorable thing to do and it honestly turns me off when I see friends, bloggers, and family bashing others online. It does not speak very highly of one’s character. Thank you for sharing!

    • Ugh, I agree. I don’t really want people in my life that bash their spouse. I like to surround myself with happy wives!!

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Laura!

      Stephanie

  • Saving Common Cents

    LOL! I agree with you. If I have an issue with my husband, it’s in my best interest (and his) to take it up with him not advertise my unhappiness on Facebook. I’m sure some people are looking for support by pasting their personal stuff all over the internet, but not me. 🙂 Glad to have found you from the Motivational Monday link up!

    • I agree! I would hate strangers to know my business, especially when we live in the same town!!

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • You’re totally on point! There’s nothing worse than bashing your partner to others. I always try to be a bit emphatic in situations like this. How would I feel if I was doing something to frustrate my husband and he broadcasts it to the whole world?

    Just a bit of consideration goes a long way. And who wants to paint their husband/partner in such a negative light to strangers, anyway? Thanks for sharing this. A great point and something all moms should consider practicing

  • Sadia

    I feel very much the same way, but I have an additional wrinkle to offer. Being a single mother (and before that, an army wife with a husband deployed in a combat zone), it’s really very off-putting to hear other women complain about how their husbands forget to take out the trash or don’t change their share of diapers. I have one Facebook friend who does this sort of thing on her personal Facebook page! Since I know both husband and wife, it’s very uncomfortable to read and I’ve actually blocked her updates from showing up in my feed. Thanks for making your point; more people should think about what they say! Thanks for linking up at #TwinklyTuesday.

  • Mrs.AOK

    No, you are totally on base with this one. I do not understand why people bash the ones they love online. It is not fair to your spouse; I’m just not sure people understand the magnitude of social media anymore. When you type those words out they are there for everyone to see, you can delete them, but who is to say someone hasn’t taken a nice little screenshot. How would your spouse feel if he or she saw this? Ugh! How would you feel? I would be terribly pi**ed off and deeply hurt.
    Great topic! Thanks for sharing with us at Mommy Monday!
    XOXO

  • Lisa

    I completely agree with you. I confess, I did it once – it was on a closed group with a very select few people who I knew really well and I was mad! I felt bad afterwards though so I’ve never done it again. I would never do it to people I don’t know for sure. Great post hun 🙂 thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  • Jennifer Abel

    Good job, Too many wifes are airing their dirty laundry on FB. You are featured this week on #wednesdayswisdom

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  • travelanimalDr

    This is a good reminder that once something goes online, you really have exposed it for the world to see.